Vol. 15 - Members Only: Michael McDonald and Our Exclusive Clan

Back to my editing work, I am pleased to share this Email conversation between Adolpho and Halliday concerning Michael McDonald, surely one of the greatest living soft rockers. - ed.

Holiday begins with a quote from "What a Fool Believes":

“She had a place in his life
He never made her think twice”

And then addresses his friend:

Dolf:

Hurt AND confident?

Let us consider one Michael McDonald.  His work with the Doobie Brothers, Christopher Cross, James Ingram, and even Chaka Khan was seminal.  His background vocals found on more scrumptious tracks than I care to count.  His solo work, especially his first solo album from 1982, has cemented his place in Soft Rock history.  He IS blue-eyed soul for many, but I am fond of him for a different reason, a reason that makes him a vulnerable, lost soul, a loser in love. The proof is in the hair.

Even as a young man with the Doobie Brothers, his heart had already been broken many times.  I have heard that a broken heart can cause ones hair to lose all pigment, almost overnight, and I have witnessed this surreal event myself.  I have a good friend who was completely gray in our sophomore year of high school.  A skunk chunk sprouted from his cowlick as early as age 13!   I thought the phenomenon was genetic until he chose to reveal to me his tragic love story. 

It seems that in 7^th grade he fell hard for a redhead named Megan whose green eyes glistened like morning dew on a freshly cut lawn.  This Meg filled out a pair of Levi’s in all the right ways.  The stolen glances he enjoyed of her deep, freckled cleavage haunted him well into his twenties.  He spent many months as her lab partner, exchanging pleasantries but not much more.  Her eyes turned him to stone, so to speak, and he prayed every day that the Chemistry teacher would not make him rise from his seat and the concealment provided by his wooden desk top.  It wasn’t until we were teammates on our high school track and field team that I was able to share with him the wisdom of the “Fosberry Flip.”  For those not familiar with this invaluable technique, I will briefly explain:  When, at an inappropriate time, one finds ones member engorged, the best solution, besides reciting baseball statistics to oneself, is to pull forward the waistband of ones trousers, allowing the offending member to “flip” up where it can then be secured in the waistband of ones undergarments and trousers, hidden behind a large belt buckle if so inclined. 

Well, unaware of the Fosberry Flip at this younger age, my friend looked the fool, never able to walk fair Megan to her locker or her next class, where he might find a moment to ask her out.  When one evening, emboldened by hard drink (imported beer!), he did find the courage to reveal his feelings to her via a stolen moment on his parent’s home phone, she went on and on for an hour about her boyfriend who attended the local preparatory school.  She considered all her male classmates so immature, she said.  Not you, she assured my friend, but he knew better. 

Was it self-loathing that turned his bangs a whitish gray the very next morning?  He told me that, even as she let him down as gently as she could, her voice scraped through his belly like fine sandpaper, and a couch pillow’s employ was necessary to conceal his gym shorts from the eyes of his siblings should they spy his pre-Fosberry tumescence.  To make matters even worse, he was paired with this Megan for another complete semester and had to witness her ever-developing beauty from just a seat away.  He lit their shared Bunsen burner and noticed her experimentation with women’s perfume.  He feigned interest in covalently bonded homogeneous solutions while he admired her new haircuts and (oh, dear!) stylish new glasses.  He had to watch her become even more lovely, finding it harder every day to separate his rich fantasy life from the cruel reality.  She never even noticed that his hair looked like that of a 35 year old man.  She never even noticed the bulge in his trousers, for pity sake!!

I can’t help but think that Michael McDonald turned prematurely gray under similar circumstances.  His lyrics say so much about his personal failures in love:

I keep forgettin we're not in love anymore
I keep forgettin things will never be the same again
I keep forgettin how you made that so clear
I keep forgettin every time that you are near

Dolf replies:

The sign of a classic

 "Minute, by minute, by minute---I keep holding on." Enigmatic. Charismatic. Hairtastic. My fondness for MM harkens back to the days of my youth. Yes friend, I was fond of the salt & pepper well before my own manhood took root. I recall the time Father and I took that short ride to Korvettes (maybe a Two Guys store) and bought Minute by Minute on LP for the Nice Price.

I had already been indoctrinated into the raspy vocals of Mike via my Father’s appetite for the prior two Doobie albums. The tale of your school chum resonates with me. For we have all known the pain and horror of the schoolboy "call to arms" (like a baby’s arm, I say!). Yes, I too was afflicted by this malice of hormones and overactive imagination. Her name was Philene, skin light as mocha and hair as kinky as my schoolboy infatuation. Her father was Jamaican and her mother German. I fancied myself a lover of the exotic, and my young love for this half-Nubian princess stoked my young desires. I remember the day all too well.


Philene, I'm begging you..



We were set off to a party in honor of a common friend’s birthday. The party turned from innocent to precarious with the spin of a bottle. Yes, I spun, and the bottle chose for me the young octoroon queen of my dreams. As we slowly and nervously moved to the closet where many burgeoning explorations and nefarious deeds took place, my mind screamed. This, friend, was my moment---Philene!! “You Don’t Know Me but I’m YOUR BROTHER"! We moved close to embrace and touched lips---and it happened. Oh, how I wished I hadn't worn those loose-fitting gym shorts. She suddenly grew frightened and left in a flash—that uncomfortable and damp “poke” destroyed our night. After “composing” myself by citing the Declaration of Independence verbatim, I went back to the group in shame—and, like your friend, with a bit of self-loathing in tow, I suppose. I never forgot that night—and I swear, in the halls of school, Philene would give me a little knowing smirk and nervous smile. I was takin' it to the streets. And she knew it. She just wasn’t ready for it.  Or perhaps our moment had too quickly passed.

Holiday continues:

Young Dolf:

Perhaps your encounter with Philene caused your premature baldness?  I poke fun of course, friend, poke being the operative word.  I can't stop thinking of Dolly Parton's classic "Jolene".  Philene, I'm begging you.  Please don't take my man(hood).  But I digress too long.  Back to Mike's painful encounters with the women he loves. 
 

The proof is in the hair.

Why such a cruel fate for such a gentle, soulful man??  If we are lucky enough to find love, we are blessed.  If we lose our loves, it is much easier to never see them again, no?  I have never been one to remain friends with exes, but I suppose the prototypical Soft Rocker would aspire to such selfless love.  If I were in my aforementioned friend’s shoes, I most certainly would have requested a homely new lab partner.   Your life would certainly have been better had Philene transferred schools that week.  Perhaps this is something about me that I should work on.  I wonder if you and Philene remained friends, if you have channeled this experience into the tasty licks that emanate from your dulcet guitar, that sustain your downy voice??   Michael likely surrounded himself with ex-lovers, for how could such a man share his heart once and then just hide it away forever when the affair had ended?  The doleful gaze on the cover of his solo debut shows that hurt hidden in plain sight.  “The pain and ache a heart can take, No one really knows," he says on his “I Can Let Go Now” (more of this gem below).  But I think Mike knows a lot more than he believes.  "The wiseman has the power..."  More evidence:

“… Just when you think you know what love is about
Someone takes your place, and you find that
Love lies-right to your face..”

The lyrics to “Love Lies” from this same record help tell the tale.  It seems poor Mike must always confront his broken heart, face to face.  Or perhaps he is a masochist.   Perhaps he is driven to find answers, to search the faces of his past lovers for answers, however painful.  Perhaps that is what a true artist does?  My friend is now happily married (to a bottle-blonde) and never mentions the girl who turned him gray, but he seems happier, more content than me.  He has truly felt love and pain in equal measure.  He should learn to play keyboards and join our Lather and Rinse!

We can hope that, like Mike and my high school chum, we can all get to this place where we let love take its course, treacherous, destructive, graying, balding or not.  These incidents truly build character.  In Michael’s cover shots (in the look I am sure you volleyed back at Philene’s knowing glance) there is something else present; it is a confidence--more precisely, a “cockiness.”  Flipped ala Fosberry or not, members of the Soft Rock clan know that another love will come along who can appreciate the bounty hidden within.  And buoyed by this self-love, this self-confidence, this knowledge that they have been “blessed,”so to speak, they move on.  I will let Mike tell it:

It was so right, it was so wrong
Almost at the same time…

…But I was tossed high by love
I almost never came down
Only to land here
Where love's no longer found
Where I'm no longer bound

And I can let go now

Vol 14: A Small Package: Music from Lather and Rinse!!!!!

Below you will find a few interesting artifacts that were mailed to my parents’ home late last month.  I assume that an anonymous reader of this blog did some research on me!  All is fair, I suppose.  Since my father and I have the same name, I surmise that this anonymous reader, after finding out my real name, took a gamble and decided to mail the aforementioned package to my likely address.  My mother tells me that the arrival of the package was preceded by a few odd phones calls that she attributed to telemarketers but in retrospect seemed connected.  Thank you, thank you, thank you, whomever you are! However circuitous their arrival, I have found the contents of this package invaluable to my work.  Speaking of real names, I now have real names (maybe) for Holiday and Dolf.   I am not naïve, however.  I am willing to accept that these names are also dead-ends; but, needless to say, I have begun to dig.

For all intents and purposes, my wish has come true.  The package contains a cassette tape of some raw demos for tracks we have been reading about in the Trouser Trout Press this month.  It took some scavenging in my garage to find a tape deck, but I knew I had one around for just this sort of musical anthropology.  I was also able to use my USB-friendly turntable to convert these tapes to digital audio files—which I share with you below.  But first, please read the following clip, which I believe is the Lather and Rinse entry to the Trouser Trout Press (you may remember that I recently shared with you the Optimus Prime entry that referenced this important side-project).  – ed.

Lather and Rinse

Discography:

Sometimes Ts and Bs (Drive me Ns) (Taint) 1993

Little Flower (Taint/Universal) 1994

Lather and Rinse were a duo committed, at least in their final active years in music, to the short-lived soft rock revival of the mid-1990s.  The group made two full-length recordings, a handful of singles (mostly covers and remixes), and one unreleased EP, which is often seen as a transitional document. 

Dolf/Adolf (Alexander Adolfo) and Kevin Holiday (Kevin Halliday) began making noise and electro-acoustic experiments as early as 1984 as The Optimus Prime, The Ass Piston (Holiday’s solo vehicle), and Sawhorse (with Burton Fink), but by 1992 they had completely immersed themselves in the music of soft rock pioneers like The Association, Bread, and Curt Boettcher of the Millennium.   Unlike Halliday, who cut his musical teeth in decidedly unmusical ways, dabbling in pure noise and field recordings, Adolfo was a trained artist and musician, competent on the drums, guitar, piano, and various woodwinds.  It is likely that Adolfo’s influences won out by the end of the duo’s decade-long run in music.   Adolfo played most instruments on recordings, while Halliday served as producer and provocateur.  Ironically, it was Halliday who took on most vocal duties, with both a rich baritone croon and a surprisingly celestial falsetto.   His vocals showed knowledge of soft rock history, referencing Colin Blunstone, Neil Diamond, Morrissey, even Robert Lamm (Chicago).  Adolfo’s guitar playing, the anchor for the band’s music, had indie rock’s sloppy jangle and 60’s folk tastefulness.  Neither man was afraid to pick up an instrument and see how it worked (or didn’t work).

Leading up to Lather and Rinse’s first proper album, Sometimes Ts and Bs (Drive Me Ns), many of the duo’s singles were covers or remixes of 1970’s soft rock favorites, most famously the cover of Bread’s “If” and the re-working of Shuggie Otis’s “Strawberry Letter 23” called “Hello Jerk Off” or “Hello JO” on subsequent pressings [I have attached the demo below – ed.].  But the B-sides were often original recordings.  One particularly interesting B-side was dubbed, "The Duet".  The song’s rich orchestration and funky drum beat (played by someone only credited as Repeat on the single’s liner notes) [The attached demo unfortunately used a cheap drum machine track –ed.] spoke to the early Quiet Storm/Philly Soul sounds of the early to mid 70's.  The song finds Halliday crooning in a warm tenor, while Adolfo plays female (?) foil, singing in a lofty falsetto.  The song is controversial for perhaps exposing the two's confused sexual leanings and the accompanying tension.  It is also defiant in its politically incorrect celebration of “Mandingo” love.  Adolfo at this time was drinking heavily and had put on some weight he did not carry while with the Optimus Prime (due to a steady diet of Chinese food and Tic Tacs).  Halliday, also a bit heavier, had turned introspective, absorbed by his work as a translator and a taste for “kind bud.”  Lyrically, the song was about an abusive relationship turned even more sour by neglect and abandonment, which, like substance abuse and unrequited love, became themes for the duo both in and out of the studio.   The male persona “steps out” on his lady, much in the way that Dolf and Adolf would abandon their soft rock calling.

One telling incident in the duo’s short history occurred in Waretown, NJ at a party thrown by a mutual college friend.  Holiday, Dolf, and an entourage of plus-sized male models (yes, they exist) arrived late and already quite intoxicated.  By 11pm the dance floor was dominated by Lather and Rinse—alone.  Reportedly, as if in some bizarre trance, the two danced moves like nothing the weary crowd had ever seen before.  Finally, too much vodka, grass and cheese snacks assumed control.  Halliday began to vomit a yellow orange onto the dance floor, while Adolfo continued to dance.  Adolfo then slipped into the DJ booth, destroying the equipment and thus ending the evening’s music.  The two were asked to leave, but before complying, decided to have one last dance, sandwiching the wife of one Scott Shrew (of the all white hip-hop trio Powelton Five-O).  The uncomfortable mood worsened as the two bumped and grinded to the music in their own heads.  By all reports, said lady didn't seem to mind, as Halliday and Adolfo were both regarded as handsome, excessive weight and body hair notwithstanding, and self-proclaimed “cocksmiths,” a fact not denied by various girlfriends and wives.   At long last, smelling of vomit and glowing orange from regurgitated cheese product, the two walked out the back door of the Waretown home and into the vast New Jersey Pine Barrens, all the while loudly discussing the sundry atypical uses for Vaseline products. 

In a rented trailer not far from Waretown (specifically, on the shores of Holgate, NJ), Dolf and Holiday set to work for two years bringing their soft rock vision to life.  The results were two complete albums released in limited pressing only a year apart.  By the end of that LBI stay, however, more problems surfaced.  First, touring drummer Repeat left to join the crew of a lobster boat, and then Holiday became addicted to a mixture of NyQuil, Yoohoo, and Courvoisier.  Rumor has it that Dolf had had enough.  He changed his name and started working with other musicians who were part of the coffee house/university jazz circuit in central New Jersey.  Holiday may have changed his name to Paul and, between trips hunting the elusive striped bass on his boat The Chocolate Starfish, reportedly sang cover tunes for a time at summer happy hours in the resort towns along the central New Jersey shore.  [See the inconclusive photo below –ed].



Holiday in white pants doing his best Alvin Ayler?



After releasing Sometimes... and Little Flower on their own Taint imprint, Lather and Rinse allowed Universal Recordings to reissue the Little Flower album in 1994.   The title track paid tribute to Holiday's unemployed Latino girlfriend (who soon became his wife).  The lyrics “Little Flower… You came along and rescued me in my darkest hour…” say a lot about how Holiday was feeling towards the end of a decade-long struggle with music and addiction.  But while Little Flower herself was able to save Holiday, this period also marked the end for Lather and Rinse.  Adolfo himself remarried and settled into a domestic life.  Ironically, many artists are able to channel this domesticity into soft rock gems, but Holiday and Dolf were too embittered by years of obscurity.  After the Little Flower record failed to sell, or even garner a little critical attention, the duo turned its attention to championing soft rock as an art form.  Feeling unappreciated themselves, they didn’t want the same fate to befall heroes like Gilbert O’Sullivan or John Dever or Michael Bolton.   Like their recordings, these writings have also become increasingly difficult to find.

See also The Optimus Prime, Sawhorse, Helen Reddy.

The attached demo of “Little Flower,” which I am told is found in a much different form on the later album of the same name, is generally accepted as the first recordings that Dolf and Holiday made post-Optimus Prime as Lather and Rinse.  The tune is played on acoustic and electric guitars, but there are equal parts noise and random, improvisational moments, along with rudimentary drum machine programming and a commitment to a low fidelity aesthetic.  The lyrics, far from fully realized and seemingly off the cuff here, do retain the puerile nature of earlier OP recordings, but this version of the tune definitely shows a decided break, a marked changed, from the OP’s previous oeuvre.   The hook about this Little Flower changing Holiday’s life was already fully formed and alone worth a listen. – ed.

Little Flower Demo

Here is the “Hello Jerk Off” demo, based on a loop from Shuggie Otis’s “Strawberry Letter 23."  The lyrics are a cautionary tale for those husbands prone to late night "web surfing." –ed.

Hello JO demo

And finally the B-side called “Duet,” also in demo form.  Listen closely and you can hear Adolfo leaving the room to vomit due to uncontrollable laughter and overindulgence in cheap beer.

Duet (A Glass of Wine) demo

I don't know if I will ever get this lucky again, but please enjoy this windfall! Thank you once again, anonymous reader, for this little package that has done so much to assist my work! - ed.



Vol. 13 - A Little History: New Information on Dolf and Holiday

My nascent, parallel research into the histories of Holiday and Adolf has uncovered some new information about our subjects.  Thank you to my new (anonymous) friends in the Development and Alumni Relations Office at Temple University for the tip! I am getting closer every day!  What follows is an entry from the Trouser Trout Press, a now defunct fan-zine and web site that—like the current All Music Guide and Julian Cope’s Heritage Head, among others—once took on the daunting task of creating a living, growing encyclopedia of music history, with a special emphasis on the "other music," the lost oddities and obscure gems.  Honestly, I was initially shocked by descriptions of the puerile content of Dolf and Holiday's early recordings.  You may be, as well.  After some thought, however, I now speculate that Dolf and Holiday came to Soft Rock much in the way a philandering drug addicted criminal comes to Christianity, born again with evangelical fervor to spare.



"Born Again" Soft Rockers Lather and Rinse?



I extend my gratitude to another anonymous soul, this one at the Philadelphia City Paper, who is responsible for sharing her archived copy of the Trouser Trout article.  This same woman was able to provide a press photo of the duo of Dolf and Holiday as Lather and Rinse, their Soft Rock band, although the resemblance to two of their more prominent heroes is uncanny, and I smell a hoax(!)  Many thanks to all who helped the cause this month.  - ed.

From the Trouser Trout Press:

The Optimus Prime

Discography:

Good Golly, It’s… (Taint)  1988

Songs about Buttcheeks to Learn and Sing (Taint) 1990

Bleepy, Can You Hear Me? (Taint) 1991

They Hate Us Because We Love the Freedom! (Taint/Universal) 1993

as Lather and Rinse

Sometimes Ts and Bs (Drive Me Ns) (Taint) 1988

Little Flower (Taint/Universal) 1993

Good Golly, It’s The Optimus Prime announced the arrival of two rare, raw talents. Dolf (Alexander Adolfo) and Holiday (Kevin Halliday) met while both were finishing long undergraduate careers (8 and 6 years, respectively) at Philadelphia’s Temple University.  Both claimed “to be under the influence of a higher being” and felt they needed more time to “digest the knowledge of their higher learning”. Others attributed these lengthy stays at university to substance abuse and a fascination with seeing how much sleep an individual can possibly squeeze into a day.  


Dolf—a multi-instrumentalist, visual artist and writer—and Holiday, also a writer, plus a long time dabbler in musique concrete—began experimenting with music in the fall of 1984, recording nonsense on a Radio Shack cassette deck with a child’s Casio and an assortment of house fans, oscillators, pedals and toys.  Some of these one-off improvisations were self-released in limited number that year, most notably the Opus One cassette, which found its way into the hands of record store owner/producer Betty “B-Mac” McIntyre.  Unlike the fine wine of the same name, the unfortunate Opus One cassette has not fared well with age and reveals little more than a fascination with potty humor and bad imitations of Latin American immigrants (i.e. "Hello, Is This Working? Hello?”).  Nevertheless, B-Mac, who had launched the careers of artists like The Wilson B. Goode Move Implosion and Los Keebleros Pequenos, commissioned Adolf and Holiday to make a record to commemorate her 35th birthday.  The OP did nothing of the sort.  They took the money and made 1,000 t-shirts, more specifically, tour shirts to mark the second world tour of Jesus of Nazareth.  They then took the profits from the sale of these shirts and recorded what would become Good Golly… adding a cheap computer and a stolen 8-track Porta-studio to their growing arsenal of toys.  It was also during this time that the duo re-launched their doomed Taint Records label. 


In a 1983 interview Dolf claimed that the original Taint was created to promote artists that “taint commercial and taint accessible”.  The new Taint would have a similar mission.  Initial efforts to re-launch the label failed, however.  At the opening party held at the former Love Lounge in Philadelphia, the duo reportedly spent the evening standing in a corner, pointing at women and saying, “How you doin'?” "Wanna make out?” and "Thanks for coming out."  The "Come On Feel My Taint" bumper stickers were a big hit, however, and using the slim profits, OP re-released the Good Golly… record, along with some of Holiday’s solo work as the Ass Piston—most notably the Arse Musica tape that featured early versions of “The Early Bird Gets the Finger (the Middle)” and “Close the Window”, songs that the OP would later rework—and the Sometimes Ts and Bs album attributed to the band’s acoustic, soft rock side project Lather and Rinse. 

Adolf moved on to Baltimore and a failed marriage to Sandy Vasquez, who would later become Mrs. Bill Violent (of Violent Concerto).  Holiday stayed in Philly to pursue an MFA in poetry.  Both worked a series of blue-collar jobs, partly to pay B-Mac back for her birthday record and partly to recover from the financial losses incurred by Taint records and the numerous failed launching parties.  Only Lather and Rinse’s trip-hop remake of Bread’s “If”, appropriately called “If-Hop,” registered with listeners and became a minor club hit (a similar proto-drum n bass remake of the Beatles’ “Tomorrow Never Knows (in a Biblical Sense)” became a hit in German clubs).   Fueled by these minor triumphs, the dark days for the band were short-lived.  A rare live performance on an Austrian cable access show saw the Optimus Prime improvise a new song titled "Schnitzle in Mein Mouf" and the performance rekindled the creative spark between the two.

Falling very short of restoring the relationship with B-Mac (and her fledgling, Universal-backed British Shoes label) OP turned instead to a new patron, Jeremy “J-Love” Schaeffer.  The OP exploited J-Love’s infatuation with Holiday’s roommate and sometimes bed-mate K-Mac, the younger sister of B-Mac (K-Mac was also romantically linked to Tango of The Audacity and Phil Type of Mickey and the Tough Guys).  Love funded the OP’s Songs about Buttcheeks to Learn and Sing but, unlike B-Mac, saw some returns on his investment.  Songs About… received positive press and a bit of local radio play.  WPRB radio in Princeton, NJ hosted the band for a live in-studio performance of “Any Port in a Storm (if the Buttcheeks Are Warm and You’re Planning to Stay All Night)” and “Yo Quiero Taco Belle”  (a tribute to a very special fast food cashier in Dolf’s neighborhood).  DJ and local music devotee Juan Salamone did his best to champion the band.  URB magazine even listed the band as one to watch in its 1990 year-end review, particularly on the weight of the single “Hello, J.O.” produced by pre-United Church of What’s Happening Now’s Turk 182 that prominently featured a loop from Shuggie Otis’s “Strawberry Letter 23.” 


All seemed to be going well for the OP, and J-Love, when the patron decided to throw a party for the band to celebrate the successful year, as well as Dolf’s return to the Philadelphia area.  During the party at Love’s loft in suburban Philadelphia, where recent Taint enlistee Heir Helmut was scheduled to play, Holiday, Dolf and independent filmmaker D. Roegge (who had just completed work on a video for the OP’s “Let us Talk about the Buttcheeks (at Great Length and in Much Detail)”) all overdosed on acid-laced More 120 cigarettes.  The three destroyed the loft and most of their warehoused records, not to mention the already tenuous relationship with J-Love.  Despite causing their own debacle, the OP later blamed Love’s “nipple rings” and “healthy lifestyle” as reasons for the split and subsequent folding of Taint Records.  The caustic duo continued to attack Love through song and action.  The culmination of this was their documented run-in at the TLA in 1991 while catching a performance by the indie rock band Bastro.  According to shocked and confused reporters, Love and his then girlfriend were steadily ignored while trying to speak to Holiday and Dolf.  Later, the duo tried in vain to slip what they called their “members” into the back of said girlfriend’s elastic waistband while screaming “It's got me, for Christ's sake, it’s got me!”  Dolf suffered another of several consecutive overdoses shortly thereafter.

Setbacks and hospitalizations aside, a revived Taint made enough money to finance the lease of a new studio, the Rock, located in Philadelphia’s East Falls neighborhood, and some new instruments, including a Radio Shack/Realistic MG-1.  Bleepy, as the band would call the Moog-like instrument, became a member of the band and was present for all subsequent interviews (even on the phone) and photo shoots.  Bleepy, Can You Hear Me? actually warranted interviews and photos; it is universally regarded as the OP’s finest recording.  Combining the improvisation of Umma Gumma-era Pink Floyd with the studio trickery that predated the glitch of the mid- to late-90’s, Bleepy… deconstructed psychedelic and folk music—and without the use of drugs, it should be noted.  Since Dolf’s recovery, OP had become very vocal supporters of the “Plugs not Drugs” campaign funded in part by the Hair Club for Men.

It was at this time that another potential strife was introduced into the band.  Holiday had informed Dolf that he was romantically involved with an ex-girlfriend of his from their university days.  In some ways, however, this ultimately bought the two men closer together and sparked yet another creative renaissance.   The Been There, Done That EP was never released commercially, but holds a special place in the hearts of collectors.   The artists themselves we're especially fond of the cut "Smell My Finger - No, Smell Mine".   According to published reports, after deciding to split with the lady in question, Holiday would find red ribbons tied outside his Philadelphia home—a mystery that to this day has never been explained.

They Hate Us Because We Love the Freedom, released in late 1993, is an album with two distinct sides.  The rock songs take aim at conservative politicians, with Kraut and prog influences worn proudly.  Interestingly enough, President George W. Bush would later co-op the phrase to defend his position of pre-emptive strikes.   They Hate Us… also uses field recordings and pure noise to explore Holiday’s early fascination with musique concrete.  One piece in that vein, “A Chance to Fart is a Chance to Vent,” was later featured heavily on the crime drama CSI. 

Lather and Rinse released the Little Flower album in 1993 and saw the duo move further towards a softer, gentler sound that coincided with their fascination with the Soft Rock of the 1970’s.  Penned in honor of Holiday's unemployed Latino girlfriend, the title track is a love letter to a special lady.  True to form, however, Dolf later offered Holiday's “muchacha” $500.00 a month and no benefits to watch his soon to be born daughter, thinking it was “better than working at a car wash or cleaning toilets”—and caused yet another rift between the two artists.   After the Little Flower record failed to make a commercial or critical impact, the duo turned its attention for a brief time to championing Soft Rock as an art form, and then faded into obscurity as middle age overcame them both.

See also Lather and Rinse, The Ass Piston, Mack Davis


I have searched in vain thus far for more evidence of the existence of these Lather and Rinse recordings.  How wonderful would it be to find actual Soft Rock music played by Dolf and Holiday!!  Rest assured, I am not deterred from my goals.  If anything, my resolve has been strengthened by this extraordinary find.  I will discover more about these two characters, and I will continue to edit and share their written work with you.

Vol. 12 - Warm and Fuzzy: Herb Fame Seeks (and Finds?) His Lost Love



Reunited??

 

Holiday recorded in diary format many impressions he had from his numerous meetings with those in attendance at the first (only?) Soft Rock summit, held in Baltimore, MD in the summer of 1994 at a place called Paul’s Bar.  Many meetings were with those he considered to be among the genre’s finest.  He was particular fond of Herb Feemster (Fame) of Peaches and Herb, and he spent several pages singing his praises (in what Holiday calls "crouch-wrung falsetto," no doubt).  The feelings must have been mutual, as evidenced by the correspondence below.  Following the Soft Rock summit, in the fall of the same year, Mr. Feemster contacted Holiday with a heartfelt request.  Holiday, of course, first shared the epistle with his colleague Adolf, so below you have both Feemster’s letter and the electronic messages shared by Holiday and Dolf.  We know from history that things ended somewhat tragically, that, after working until at least 1981 as a police officer, Herb, while performing live for many years with many Peaches, settled for a stacked Spaniard by the name of Meritxell Negre and finally allowed another woman to record with him.  Herb now makes a living playing B-list gigs—retiring from the police force and rededicating himself to music in the process, however, which is surely a positive development for our hero(es)! You can read more in a 2009 story from The Washington Post.  A quote from that story speaks volumes:

"My love of all, the woman that's never disappointed me, is music. It gets inside of me and turns me upside down. It relaxes me and does all the things you would do normally if you had a woman. That's my woman. Besides my wife."  (Freedom du Lac, Washington Post, 5/29/09)

Besides my wife, he says, as if an afterthought.  The letter below helps to further illuminate or, perhaps, obscure this last comment.  Perhaps even then, Herb still longed for his Linda and his Francine?  One thing I know for sure: he did find his one true love again. Enjoy! - ed.

11/5

Dolf, my friend:

I know this is not the format to which we've grown accustomed, but I had to get this urgent message from a dear friend to our brotherhood in the event that one of our esteemed colleagues could lend a hand in this most serious love crisis.  Herb Fame [Feemster – ed.], as evidenced by the enclosed epistle, has surely lost his mojo, and his latest Peaches-of-the-month most certainly does not have it in her possession.  No, baby, Herb needs our help in mining the past, in reaching back to fan a flame that obviously still burns bright in his gentle, albeit funky, heart.  Perhaps there is something we can do?

Read on, man.

And Herb’s letter follows:

Washington D.C.
4 November 1994


Linda [Green - ed.], my peach:

You'll never know how much you have touched by life with your silky voice.  Pure sexuality.  I love you, woman.  That ain't no joke.  I love you.  Where you been, girl?  There was a time when I had the blues something fierce: To be so high and then get so low.  So low.  Solo.  You know what I’m saying?  Now I'm getting that feeling again.  Useless.  Museless.   Can you dig it? 

When I was a young buck coming up in DC, I sang for the Lord, my Savior.  Sang high and proud.  There was nothing false in my falsetto, girl.  But when that college boy Freddie [Perren - ed.] came poking his head around the store, I felt touched, like I had me another mission, dig?  Love with an extra ooomph and an extra owwwh.  I was too heavy to be some clerk in a record store.  Baby, remember my name?  Remember?  Remember?  Herb Fame, baby.  Fame!  I was gonna live forever, learn how to fly, all that shit. 



Can you dig it?



 Anyway, I cut a couple records with his people, but not much happened, you dig.  I still felt so low.  Know what I'm saying, girl?  Solo.  Then this shorty named Francine [Hurd Barker - ed.] came around. Look out!  I don't mean to get all Shakespearean on your ass, baby, but what's in a name?  Well, I'll tell you.  The Sweet Things was the name of her little group.  The Sweet Things.  Ain't that the truth, I said. Good God Almighty!! Anyways, that bitch Freddie had us sing a couple tracks together, and it was pure magic.  We made some shit happen, you know what I'm saying?  You've seen my gold records (you know, back when you used to actually speak to me).  But (and now I'm gonna drop some more poetry on you, baby, so hold on)things fell apart, dig?  The center could not hold.  She left me, straight up.  And this rough bitch Herb slouched back to Barry Farm to get his 9-to-5 on with the District of Columbia's finest, the boys in blue, girl. And blue was how I was feeling inside and out. 

Some time later, though, my boy Van [McCoy - ed.] (He still gets the ladies to this day!) he introduced me to this fine piece (Hahaha, it was you, baby girl!).  A model.  Damn!  Look out! I thought.  I’m in some shit now.  You became my new Peaches, my inspiration, my salvation.  We dropped some disco on them, you and I, but then we really showed them.  Platinum single, girl ["Reunited," #1 for four weeks in 1979 - ed.]!!  Take your gold bling, bling up out of here, boys!  My new Peaches and I scored platinum!  And it felt so GODDAMN good!  We made sweet love in the studio, on couches, tables, chairs, even Elton’s piano stool that one time.  Platinum selling duo gets a do-over, dig?  We did a lot of drugs, sure nuff, we loved a lot brothas and sistas, shook our groove things, so to speak.  Talk about brothers uplifting sisters and sisters uplifting brothers, baby.  But somewhere up in that fine body, I know you still feel those moments we had, I know you still remember those days, baby.  I wish I could climb up through this page and give you all my love, but you gotta want me, girl.  You gotta meet me half way.  Duo not solo, dig.  Let's do it!  Let's duet!  You gotta talk to me. Talk to your ever-devoted...

Herb

Adolf replies:
11/6

Kevin:

EGADS!  Dear friend, the story of poor, wretched Herb wracks my inner being with sorrow.  Ghastly dame!  Peaches, I (We!) [Me too! – ed.] implore you to right the wrongs you have so unfairly laid upon fair Herb.  Is there not a man or woman in this world that would not give his or her very fortunes to once again see Herb reunited with his fair Peaches?  Fondly, I remember the days of wine and roses (or better yet, silk robes [Herb - ed.] and beaded head dresses [Peaches - ed.]).  A big strong man, afro picked and poised smartly upon his dome, gazing longingly into the doe-like eyes of his ripest fruit.  



"That's my woman.  Besides my wife"



Oh, Herb, I do remember such happy times!  Francine, the original...the forbidden fruit that poor Herb was to taste once and then forever be denied.  Do you need to break his heart again, Linda?  Surely you must not have forgotten about the good times?  1970 – Cashbox Magazines R&B group of the year, the string of hits in the mid 70's culminating with the ballad to which Herb referred - "Reunited".  Please, find it in your heart, dear woman, to see your future for what it is.  Accept this destiny and find the strength and courage to find the magic once again.  For our dear Herb wasn't meant to enforce the laws of justice; he merely wants to enforce the laws of love...and it'll feel so good for all of us.         

Holiday also entreats:
11/7

I can only hope that this missive might fall under the gaze of la belle dame sans merci.  Peaches, we need you as much as Herb!  Hear our call, Linda!  Are we to survive on Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston?  Talk about black on black crime!  Britney Spears and Justin(e) Timberlake?  The horror!  Love should exist above the street, beyond the flesh.  Love should grow upon the fruited plain that is your beaded crown, not just any beaded crown.  If the chemistry you and Herb had was all in a headdress, in a vast quantity of hair relaxer, then you would have been replaced years ago, and Herb would still be on the charts.  I cry when I now see him in photos with his latest Peaches of the month.  Can an imported white peach taste as sweet?  What you had was real.  Come back, Peaches.  Reunite the forces of adult contemporary love, the yin and yang of funk!  Give us one small victory in this otherwise futile fight!

Vol. 11 - A Taxonomy, Part 2

Still working on transcribing the list of soft rock terms generated at the 1994 summit of soft rock artists and patrons, I submit to you part two of the list.  There may actually be a third such list salvaged from the rough notes I have been reading.  I will also share a photo/scan of a few pages in a future issue, so you can glimpse the process (there's not mine).  You may notice that the participants seemed equally focused on abstractions and multicultural references as they entered the final hours of the meeting.  I don't know about you, but the first version of the list has been the catalyst for many debates among my friends and loved ones!  I hope you enjoy this interactive respite from my more scholarly work.  - ed.

Aubrey

Jane

Caroline

Mary

Judy

“La”

“Bah”

“Grooose”

Ventura Highway

The Brill Building

Central Park (in fall)

Abbey Road

Birmingham

The Village Recorder

Worm farms

Compost

Cummerbunds

Cardboard babies

Sherbet punch

Tickle Deodorant

Tickling

Patchwork dresses

Acoustic guitars

Potlucks (with Ambrosia—the band is even better if available—and Deviled Eggs)

Making one’s own soap (or paper)

Candelabras

Press and stick carpet squares

Rec rooms

Dens

Patent leather

Ice box cake

Bundt cake

Cake mix

Valium

Chicken croquettes

Fine Corinthian Leather

African art

MASH

Schoolhouse Rock

Jimmy Connors

Grimace

Wildfire (the horse and the natural phenomenon)

Unnamed horses

Deserts

Desserts

Carrot cake

Luxury liners

Cruises

Sleeping cars

Diaries

Pina Coladas

Awe

Gratitude

Reconciliation

Reunions

Smoking jackets

Round beds

Round stages

Ground beef

Ascots (ironic or not)

Large, dark sunglasses

Richard Tandy

Oates/Oats (the man and the grain)

Art Garfunkel

Bert (not Ernie)

Saddle shoes (for men, ironic or not)

Wheat (fields of… cream of…)

“Woman”

“Girl”

“Lady”

“Woo, Woo, Woo” (“and you…”)

Mine

Forever

Until

Still

Noble gamblers

Prostitutes

Informants

Rubber balls (pink, red)

IUDs

Tic Tacs

Lifesavers candy

Paperweights

Reams

Long telephone cords

Checkers

Chess (as metaphor)

Stage (as metaphor)

Rural gas stations

Diners

Early Bird Specials

Cadillacs

Roadsters (MG)

Fiat

Soft serve

Packaged goods

“Packages”

Fun bags

“Fun bags”

“Meat balloons”

“Sweater meat”

Supple

Pert (shampoo + conditioner)

Cardigans

Tights/leggings

Carnations

Squirrels

Beer can collections

Bobbers/cane fishing poles/coffee cans/earthworms

Lemonade (instant and real)

Instant iced tea (lemon flavored)

Instant hot chocolate

Blow up dolls

Ring pops

Chivalry

Knighthood (for pop stars and royals alike)

Twill

Linen (pants)

Elbow patches

Patches (iron-on)

Decals (iron on, from cereal boxes, boardwalks, etc)

Fringed t-shirts

Clover

Dandelions

Cranberry/pumpkin wine

Cider of any kind

Ceviche

Al fresco

Crème fresh

Favors

Robots (sentient)

Simon

Teddy Ruxpin

Pendergrass

Kentucky blue grass/Long Island sensimilla hybrid

Vocoders

The Moog

SpaceCamp

Harmonicas/harmonica harnesses

Cowboy hats/boots/shirts

Mother of pearl anything

Compasses

Stars

Catholic uniforms (girls)

Priests/nuns/rabbis/preachers/teachers/doctors (also used as metaphors)

“The Man”

Rabbits

Pigs

“Pigs”

Cobwebs/spider webs

Dew drops

The Cheyenne Social Club

Henry Fonda

Peter Billingsley

Robert Redford

Ed Begley Jr.

Darryl Hannah

Peter Scolari

Jonathan Lipnicki

Tara Lipinski

Rita Coolidge

Charles Barkley

Merlin Olsen

Cusack (John)

Barley

Turnips

Pine cones

Sugar

“Sugar”

Honey

“Honey”

The Sierra Nevadas

National Bohemian

Club rooms

Billiards (not pool!)

Manual lawnmowers

Roasts (the meal and the humorous send-up to stars)

Vests

Scarves

Handkerchiefs

Wells

Fences

Windows (open, stained-glass, etc)

“Windowpanes”

Bicycles

Peter Cetera

Chicago (the city in Illinois)

Starships

Paul Kantner

Bathtubs (footed)

Washtubs (with holes)

Paul Williams

Kermit the Frog

Marshmallows

Milk chocolate

Fig Newtons

Wayne Newton

Olivia Newton John

John (Dr.)

John Waite

Todd Rundgren

Eric Carmen

Guys and Dolls (revivals)

Our Town (revivals)

Tim Rice

Chess (the Broadway production)

Chess King

Ice Castles (the film and the dwellings)

Balalaikas

Banjos

Mouth harps/Jew’s harps

Kazoos

Klaatu (not the Beatles)

Any member of Ringo’s All Star Band, past or present

Mike Love

Carl Wilson (not Dennis!)

Arthur Lee

Bryan MacLean

Red Telephones

Old men

Love’s Forever Changes (album)

Love Story (the film)

Zodiac (also “zodiac”)

Tupperware

Dixie (cups, “Old..”)

Chicken patties/Rondelettes

Geno’s (not Burger King or McDonalds)

Two Guys

Dairy Queen (not Carvel!)

Montgomery Ward

Montgomery Clift

Rock Hudson

Italian restaurants

Pizza Hut

Sizzler

 Jack in the Box

Teepees

Sweat lodges

Lakota anything

Grooming kits

Shoe polish kits (DIY)

Chimney sweeps

Duraflame

Kerosene

Vegetable carts

Vegetables (only for Brian Wilson or Van Dyke Parks)

Dick Van Patton

Butchers/bakers/artisans of any ilk (often as metaphors)

Judas Iscariot (not Jesus)

Barabbas (not Jesus)

Joseph (adoptive father of Jesus)

Mr. Drummond

Ralph Macchio

Richard Thomas

Moles (mammals and skin abnormalities)

Family dramas (television)

Pantomime

Magic (as a profession)

Doug Henning

Gene Simmons

Gallagher

 Mork from Ork

Rainbow Suspenders

Gas Crisis, Iran

Pittsburgh Steelers

Dallas Cowboys

Therapy

Inner Child

Circle shaped zipper pulls

Inside Seka (and the, ahem, titular actress)

Taboo (film series and accompanying soundtracks)

Vanessa Del Rio

John Leslie (not Sir John)

“Johnny Wadd”

Seiko

Timex

Gloria Steinem

Brook Shields

Calvins

Aviator glasses/bomber jackets

Chuck wagons

Dachshunds

Finches

Masquerades

Pollution (fight against)

Iron Eyes Cody

Smokey the Bear

Smokey and the Bandit

Citizen Band radios

Convoys

Burt Reynolds

 Trans Ams

Pony cars

Barracudas (the cars and the fish)

Ann and Nancy Wilson

Fatso (the film)

Sammy Davis Jr.

Shuggie Otis

Strawberry letter 22 (and 23)

Billie Preston

Herb Fame

Jeffrey Osbourne

Syreeta

Bernard King

Wilt Chamberlain

Fast Break (the film)

Bubba Smith

Gabe Kaplan

The ABA (not the NBA)

Dr. J.

Cheadle (Don)

Meadowlark Lemon

Cross-country/steeplechase/javelin/high jump/track and field in general

Carl Lewis

Greg Louganis

Whistles

Sonny/Sunny (any mention of any Sonny/Sunny, including boy, Busom Buddies, Bobby Hebb, Bono)

Scott Hamilton

“betcha”

“by golly”

Falsetto

“Keep on Truckin’” mud flaps

Airboats/Hydrofoils/ferries

Irish Blessings

Abraham Lincoln

Martin Luther King Jr.

John F. Kennedy

Thomas Jefferson

Any president for whom a high school with a predominately black population has been named.

Wicker

Jam (not jelly) or preserves of any kind

Canning

Channing (Carol)

Fox hunts

Racist dogs

Larry Wilcox (not Eric Estrada!)

Pringles

Capital “I”

Commemorative plates/coins

Bottle caps/pull tabs

Bongs/one-hitters

High heels/platforms shoes (for men)

Magnum P.I.

T.C.

Helicopters

Tate Donovan

Stacy Keach

Ordinary People (the film)

Mellow/ Mello

Gold

Michael Lerner

Michael Pare’

Robert Hays

Bronson (Charles)

Soft-focused camera lenses

Coconuts

Limes

Hyperbolic time chambers

Nyquil

Nectar of any kind

Finding god (in prison)

Finding love (not in prison)

Animal trainers/zookeepers/falconry

Leaves of Grass

Giorgio Moroder

Arp

Papillon (the film)

Victor Tayback (pre-Vic)

Grits

Fried eggs (braless)

Billy Paul

Silly Puddy

Lorne Green

Richard Hatch (not Dirk Benedict!)

Richard Kline (aka Larry Dallas)

Female roommates

Crying

Time travel

Time shares

Bathroom appointments shaped like hearts, champagne glasses, etc.

Benson

Hayrides

Apple dumpling gang

Small homes on prairies

Mr. Nels Oleson

Frost (frozen precipitation)

Moss

Pete Best

Soft serve/waffle cones

Alberto Culver haircare products

Dutch Masters

Lavendar